Showers and WTF?

My current rental home was built in the late 1800’s and it occasionally shows its age. If you have ever seen the movie the Money Pit starring Tom Hanks and Shelly Long, this could easily be my house.

I have a good landlord, she fixes things timely despite living 2.5 hours away. But as problems arise, they usually do not follow any specific normal timetable. As matter of fact they can be downright untimely.

The most recent adventure began in the wee hours of a Monday morning. My slated shower time slot is 5:15. On this particular morning my schedule was off and I was soon to find out why..

My daughter opened the bathroom door and announced, the shower fell off of the wall. WTF?

I enter the bathroom, and I see the bathtub ring that connects the claw foot shower hoop to the wall has become separated from the wall. The connector to the fixture is loose and flailing about wildly..I am calm, my eyes are almost open and focused on the problem at hand.  I have been told more than once, I am a fixer. And for those of you that aren’t, it means I get stuff done..I fix problems.

And this was a problem for many reasons. First I am 5’4” tall, so is my daughter. We are trying to reattach the fixture to the wall. No, I didn’t go and get the step stool, it is 0525 am. I use my better judgement to stand on the edge of the bathtub  with one foot balancing on each side. My daughter is acting as my spotter. I am trying to reinsert the screws into the wall. Of course I don’t have my glasses on and can’t really see the holes, but that is just a small inconvenience. Unfortunately, the screw holes left behind are far too large and will not support the weight of the shower ring. But none the less I keep trying. In the process the shower ring hits my daughter in the head, no blood drawn and we keep up our futile effort of reattachment.

Finally I admit a momentary defeat. I am not beaten. Just on hiatus unti I return from work. I quietly enter the bedroom and announce to my sleeping guy, the shower fell off the wall, don’t use it, I will get supplies after work. He gets up and enters the lair of shower hell. He is taller and the reattachment is less of a challenge. He somehow precariously inserts the original screws into the original holes and they are hanging on, but with very little security.  We reattach the connector pole, only it has broken off in the melee and is leaking profusely. I shove it back on to the faucet fixture and pray for it to work. It sort of does. But two days into the “repair” the shower begins to leak again. I am in the kitchen beneath the bathroom and I feel a drop of water on my face. I look up and see water droplets falling from the kitchen ceiling onto the  floor, gently drop by drop making a puddle. I give in. I get a bucket and text the landlord, Time to call in the professionals.

The landlord arrives and $500 later we have a fully functioning bathtub and shower..

But the story isn’t over yet. The landlord was advised that the shower faucet and handles should be replaced in the near future. However, after the $500 bill she decides to not pursue quite yet.  And our shower fun continues. This time the fun begins at 430 am. I am in the shower, shampoo in my hair when I suddenly feel something fly past my leg and the water pressure from above diminishes quickly. I open one eye then the other and I feel a burning sensation on my leg. I look down, trying not to get shampoo in my eyes and see that the faucet handle has flown off due to pressure and basically exploded. A projectile of sorts in the bathtub. There is a beam of water , burning hot magma temperature  ( that resembles a Jedi light saber) shooting straight across the tub and into  the wall. Needless to say it was a mess.. I hop out with hair filled with shampoo , dripping wet and quickly turn off the water to the tub. I throw towels on the floor and run downstairs to rinse my hair in the kitchen sink and again I text the landlord.  It was repaired within 24 hours.

And once again we have a fully functioning shower/bath. The joys of not being attacked mid shower by flying pieces of porcelain and metal. Priceless.

I hope your day flows along like a quiet gurgling stream and not a white water rapids.

Until Next Time,



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