Mercedes Morning

To the man in the black Mercedes, you made my morning.

Not because you looked so very hot driving your black Mercedes, I couldn’t see through the tinted windows, but because you overestimate your importance on the highway.

Let me explain. It was around 645 and I was tooling along, listening to music and sipping my early morning smoothie, enjoying my morning drive. This morning’s smoothie was pineapple, strawberry and papaya with a few chia seeds for good measure.  I could see you behind me jockeying back and forth, waiting for your moment to unleash the power of your vehicle.  A grownup game of frogger comes to mind. Yes, sometimes the frog gets the bad end of the game. The speed limit is merely a suggestion and your vehicle was meant to go fast.. real fast. Oh yeah, we are in a 45 mph zone, I was traveling 50.  But again, not fast enough for black Mercedes. So after a nano second of riding my ass ( yes, I wanted to slam on the brakes) you put the pedal to the metal and zip that race car around and cut me off. Boy you really showed me.

And then all the cosmic tumblers fell into place and you slide that shiny Mercedes right in behind a Honda Van, moving even slower than I was, probably going the actual speed limit. Now, as I laughed and relished the sweet revenge of the universe, the cosmos decided to push it up a notch…

Not only were you wedged behind a van going slower than your patience, but  it was matched on the left by a black VW convertible moving with just enough speed that you couldn’t pull out and swerve around them both. This was the cherry on top..

You were stuck, aggravated and “all revved up with no place to go” (thank you Meatloaf)

So I laughed as I watched your anxiety escalate, I watched you slam on the brakes and nearly hit the van,  and inching ever so slightly forward waiting for that little space between the back bumper of the van and the front bumper of the VW. Sizing it up in your pea sized brain, and nearly convincing yourself, “I can fit, I am a Mercedes”

As we continued down the road you were looking for a way out, I actually thought you were going to hit one of them in your hurry. Thankfully, you saw your opportunity to escape the madness and you darted to the left and nearly lost control but whew… you made it to the red light at exactly the same moment as all of us.

As the light turned green we all moved forward to our destinations, the elderly gentlemen in his VW convertible, the mom in her van full of kids and me.  You sped off like you had somewhere to go..  and we bid you adieu..

You the man in the Mercedes with zero patience. And you gave me a laugh to last me all the way to work.  And for that I thank you and the cosmic tumblers.

Sometimes we need to embrace the lateness, go with it. Maybe there is a reason, other than your need to act out behind the wheel of a Mercedes.  In the end it got you nowhere any sooner than us. It raised your blood pressure a bit, made you swear.. and definitely made me laugh.

Until Next Time,



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